drug addiction withdrawal from something I grew to love

by Susan W
(Darwin NT Australia)

I would sing this verse from my favorite song by Sheryl Crow If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad, if it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad.

Whenever the burst of just giving up and going back to the drug got a hold of my thoughts, i would think to myself soon
I discovered that if I told myself I would never have the drug again, I would start to go into major panic attack mode, but if I just said the word soon I would calm down and accept that soon I will have the drug, not now, but soon, soon never came!
I kicked the addictive drug I call ICE, Ice controlled my life, I thought it helped me deal with everything I had bottled up and refused to face or deal with because of fear but I was just lying to myself, I convinced myself that it gave me confidence to face life and succeed, but all it did is convince me that I couldn't live without it.
So I found that one little word motivated me to live without it, and funny enough it was also a one worded lie, I lied to myself once again by saying SOON

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