How to Overcome Bad Days, Negative People & Challenging Situations by Using Contrast
By Brian Vaszily, Author of the #1 Worldwide Bestseller,
The 9 Intense Experiences -- named one of the 5 Best motivational books ever - and Founder of IntenseExperiences.com
Today is rainy and grey. And that is why I am writing this – I’m going to contrast it with color. Through these brief words, I’m going to paint the day with vibrant shades of red, blue, green and yellow. Put the rainy grey canvas I’ve been given to good use.
This motivational article will be short as, like all the most important insights that are always floating right in front of us, it will likely make sense to you quickly. It will feel like common sense.
At the same time, you may have one of those “Ah ha!" moments upon receiving these motivational insights. That’s because all the universe’s most powerful insights are simple, but they get deeply buried by simplicity’s opposite – our brains, our minds, our weakness for making things complicated -- and so when they are clearly revealed again they seem so ... incredibly obvious.
Before I start to make this too complex, then, here’s what your brain may often try to bury but that you’ll find incredibly obvious .. and worth remembering:
When it’s dark, you don’t need to stumble fearfully through it. You don’t need to pity yourself for being placed in it. You don’t need to let the dark own you. Instead, shed light. There are innumerable ways at your fingertips to do so … so shed light.
Put another way, when you feel consumed by a person, place, situation or state of being that is disagreeable or disturbing, contrast it with its opposite. You have the power, and just as it does in interior design, cooking, painting, and music, contrast can work wonders in improving your bad days and your life.
Don’t Try to Analyze the Disturber When Disturbed
Unfortunately what most people try to do instead is analyze, think through, and confront the thing that is disturbing them. But that only makes them more swallowed by the thing, and therefore more disturbed. There certainly can be a time and place for such analysis, but it is not when you’re in the jaws of the thing ... it’s when you are calm, collected and back to who you are.
Anyone who has ever had a heated argument with their children or spouse understands this principle: the temptation is to make your point, and no matter how forceful the words you choose or how loud they come out, you’re going to do it by God! Of course the same goes for your counterpart in the argument. And so the quarrel goes nowhere but into deeper frustration (and headaches, and compromised immune systems, etc.) for you both.
The right move in such a situation – the contrast that should be employed as quickly as possible to prevent verbal bombs from dropping – is of course solitude for both parties. When each person goes to a quiet, peaceful place – their cave, a room of their own, their secret garden – calmness can settle back in and they are far more apt to consider the situation and one another fairly, and eventually come back to the discussion more equitably.
Fight Fire with Water, Not Fire
And so it goes for all the other challenging situations and states in your life…
If you spend your day crunching numbers or pushing papers and its slowly crushing your spirit, be sure to routinely contrast with music, literature, film and the other arts.
If you’ve just been barked at by a boss, be sure to contrast by calling a good friend who routinely brightens your life and plan your next outing together.
If the mainstream media has you gritting your teeth in anger or shaking your head in terms, be sure to contrast with the positive news you’ll find in the FREE Intense Experiences personal growth newsletter, or in an excellent novel, or in your favorite spiritual texts.
If your work demands that you spend your days parked in an office chair, be sure to routinely contrast with sports, exercise and other physical activities.
Ask yourself what it is that is bothering you. Then determine what that thing’s opposite may be, how to contrast it, and do it.
When you feel run into the ground, reach for the clouds.
When you feel stuck, make a bold move.
When you fear death, embrace life.
When it’s dark, shed light.
You have the ability, and though your thoughts and worries are always trying to get in the way, the power of employing contrast to improve your life is eternally obvious.
And grey and rainy as it tries to be, today is now a sunny and vibrant day.
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